i just want to cry...

Just when I think that things are starting to get better, I get this gut feeling that they're only getting worse.

For some reason I've been really sad today...and I'm not really sure why. I just have this feeling deep down that something's not right.

Being involved in a relationship that has taken a step backward after almost 6 years is one of the most difficult things I've ever endured. I feel like the only person that I want to talk to about how I'm feeling is Jason...but it's just not that easy anymore.

It's like losing your best friend.

Sometimes I just wish everything would go back to normal. My entire life is in turmoil right now...it's a huge stress that I think about every single minute of every single day.

I just miss him so much...and I have no control over it. Nor do I have any control over his feelings and our future. I only have control over my future...which seems so empty without Jason.